"So wait, what you are saying is that she really doesn't know how to use them?" Doc said as he stood at one end of a large conference table the Pirate Ninja had stolen from the corporation early last June.
"I'm not sure," Zero answered as he toyed with a lighter and a shot of 151 on the other side of the table. "I know that she had trouble mastering the technique during training. I'm not sure whether she finally got it or was just passed because of her tits." With that, he lit up the shot and took it down, flames and all.
"If she screws it up, you know what that means. At least, in theory anyways, since no one has ever really used it. Once the sequence is initiated it can't be stopped. If it cannot be controlled after that point, the entire planet is in jeopardy." Doc, the smartest pirate ninja of them all, who usually worries about nothing, sounded worried.
"Yeah, but," Zero responded, "We can't be sure if it even really works. No one has ever actually tried to use it."
"Yes," Doc said, "but we can't work on that assumption. You know as well as I do where we learned it from, and considering the source, we might as well just assume it works just as it is supposed to."
"But what about the transmission Womp intercepted? Do you think her shuttle really got destroyed? Or was it just bullshit to throw us off the trail?" Zero lit up another shot and let it burn slowly as he stared blankly into the flames, lost in thought.
"I don't know." Doc looked worried again. "But we can't afford to hope to get out of this that easily. I would honestly have expected the Corporation to try something like that anyways. Right now we have no choice but to assume they have not only the data, but the means to use it. You know exactly what that means." He stared gravely at the other Rogue Pirate Ninja.
Zero got serious. "No. That's a bad idea, and you know it." He shot back the flaming shot of 151 and slammed the empty glass on the table.
"We have no choice. I wanted you here when I did it." Doc was referring to rule 19, which clearly states if the enemy ever got a hold of the sound files, the Rogue Pirate Ninja clan would immediately destroy all their holdings and go into hiding. The order could only be given by one pirate ninja, and that pirate ninja was Doc.
"That's a cowards action!" Zero protested.
"No, it's a strategy." Doc countered. "It is using deception to gain an advantage. To buy us, and by 'us' I mean 'you', time to retrieve the files and the woman. I am sending the order out now. You have 12 hours. After that we are going to war. If you fail, I don't even need to tell you how dead we all are."
Zero lit another shot and slammed it down, glass and all. "I only need half that." he said coldly.
Doc nodded and pressed a button on a small communicator he held in his hand. Zeros began to beep red, as did every other Rogue Pirate Ninja in the land. It was all or nothing now. Everything they had would be destroyed on purpose and in 12 hours from that very second, they would all storm Corporate headquarters and either win or lose once and for all. There was no going back now.
Except, at that very moment, Captain Buggernuts and his crew all decided to chuck their communicators overboard and just go to war now.
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